55 Hi’s have outdone themselves with their new Contract Cards, which are a hilarious cross between an IOU, barter, and blackmail. The six cards in this humorous and sometimes racy collection include contracts for body massage, house cleaning, laundry duty, a sexy dance, general servitude, and a 55 Hi’s favorite, the makeout session.

Reading the terms and conditions for each contract is an absolute must because 1) hilarity is guaranteed to ensue and 2) you don’t want to have to watch an endless parade of Justin Bieber videos on YouTube if your sexy dance is less than stellar. Nobody wants that.

images from 55 Hi’s